At the root of any flourishing leader is a strong quality to communicate. Sure, there have been leaders who have ascended into the highest positions and not had that skill, but they likely didn't last long. This point was graphic recently as I listened to a Npr program about the failure of the big banks on Wall Street. When Congress grilled executives from these institutions about why they didn't catch the risky investments that were being made that finally failed, their answers were all the same and quite straightforward - we didn't know. It was their job to know and whether nobody told them or they didn't catch it in the data they had way to. No flags were raised; nobody asked so nobody told. This is certainly a communication meltdown that had wide negative consequences.
Webster University
What is communication? communication in life is the pinnacle of every flourishing - and not so flourishing - relationship. According to Webster's dictionary, communication is defined as a process of transferring facts from one entity to another. communication processes are sign-mediated interactions in the middle of at least two agents, which share a repertoire of signs, and semiotic rules. communication is ordinarily defined as "the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or facts by speech, writing, or signs". Although there is such a thing as one-way communication, communication can be perceived good as a two-way process in which there is an transfer and progression of thoughts, feelings or ideas (energy) towards a mutually accepted goal or direction (information).
Why is communication important? Often times, we have a message which we want to retell or we want the receiver of message to understand our message in the same sense as we carry it. Take for example a company's need to raise the cost of condition insurance. Often times, this is conveyed straight through a written document to the employees at open enrollment time. The employee's reaction is normally anger towards the enterprise for production them pay more money for condition coverage. The miss here is that the enterprise is not sharing as much facts as they should to help the worker understand how the raising cost of condition insurance coverage affects the enterprise and their contribution too. A enterprise should give the worker a total payment statement at that time so all employees can see how much the enterprise invests in him/her as individuals. Giving each worker a clear, individualized photo and then telling the worker the cost is raising would change the way the message is received. There may still be anger, but it will be focused on the right culprit of raising costs, which are the insurance and curative companies and not the employer. Effective communication helps in that the message is enable to accomplish its goals and helps in receiving the desired response from the reader of the message. Effective communication helps organizations in keeping good relationships with their customers and employees; forwarding facts effectively helps in avoiding any dispute that can arise because of a misunderstanding.
The 4 Types of Communication. I used to work with person who I refer to as a "chit-chatter." He'd walk the halls every day knocking on doors and say, "do you have a minute?' An hour and a half later he'd still be sitting there rambling. I learned very swiftly that my body language could help deter this performance without me having to be rude or disengaging. When Mr. Chatter would show up at my door and say, "do you have a minute?" He'd start to walk in the door before I would talk and I would throw my hand up in the "stop" mode. I would say, "actually, I'm in the middle of something right now, can I get you on my calendar for later today?" His talk was always, "Oh. No, I just came by to say hello." That one gesture changed the whole dynamic of the conversation. There are 4 types of communication that are gift in our lives: verbal, non-verbal, written and visual.
Verbal Communication: Verbal communication includes sounds, words, language and speaking. Language is said to have originated from sounds and gestures. There are many languages spoken in the world. The bases of language formation are: gender, class, profession, geographical area, age group and other group elements. Speaking is an Effective way of communicating and is again classified into two types viz. Interpersonal communication and group speaking. Good verbal communication is an inseparable part of enterprise communication. In a business, you come across people from assorted ages, cultures and races. Fluent verbal communication is essential to deal with people in enterprise meetings. Also, in enterprise communication self-confidence plays a vital role which when clubbed with fluent communication skills can lead to success. group speaking is someone else verbal communication in which you have to address a group of people. Preparing for an Effective speech before you start is important. In group speaking, the speech must be ready According to the type of audience you are going to face. The content of your your speech should be authentic and you must have enough facts on the topic you have chosen for group speaking. All the main points in your speech must be highlighted and these points should be delivered in the precise order. There are many group speaking techniques and these techniques must be practiced for an Effective speech.
Non-Verbal Communication: Non-verbal communication involves corporal ways of communication, like, tone of the voice, touch, smell and body motion. Creative and aesthetic non-verbal communication includes singing, music, dancing and sculpturing. Symbols and sign language are also included in non-verbal communication. Body language is a non-verbal way of communication. Body posture and corporal touch carry a lot of information. Body posture matters a lot when you are communicating verbally to someone. Folded arms and crossed legs are some of the signals conveyed by a body posture. corporal contact, like, shaking hands, pushing, patting and touching expresses the feeling of intimacy. Facial expressions, gestures and eye touch are all different ways of communication. Reading facial expressions can help you know a person better.
Written Communication: Written communication is writing the words which you want to communicate. Good written communication is essential for enterprise purposes. Written communication is practiced in many different languages. E-mails, reports, articles and memos are some of the ways of using written communication in business. The written communication can be edited and amended many times before it is communicated to the second party to whom the communication is intended. This is one of the main advantages of using writing as the major means of communication in enterprise activity. Written communication is used not only in enterprise but also for informal communication purposes. Movable Sms is an example of informal written communication.
Visual communication: The last type of communication out of the four types of communication, is the optic communication. optic communication is optic display of information, like, topography, photography, signs, symbols and designs. Television and video clips are the electronic form of optic communication.
What is Your communication Style? I come from a family where being direct is determined combative. To me, honesty is the best policy and the only way to be honest is to be direct. Of policy that ends up causing friction in the middle of myself, my mum and my siblings because they would rather agree with the person to their face then disagree behind the scenes. My style is direct and their style is harmonious (with a bit of passive aggressiveness in my opinion, but that's a blog for someone else time!) I have adjusted my style to sacrifice the friction and I have learned to get my point across without ruffling anyone's feathers. Does it all the time work? No, but it has reduced my stress and those colse to me. It is critically foremost to know your style of communication and recognize the style of others so that you can learn to be flexible in your message without compromising it and drastically sacrifice the possibility of miscommunication. I found an entertaining description that had some critically foremost facts relative to communication style: The 21 most foremost words in the English language:
The two most foremost words:
Thank You
The three most foremost words:
All is forgiven
The four most foremost words:
What is your opinion
The Five most foremost words:
You did a good job
The six most foremost words:
I want to understand you better
The least foremost word:
I"
The Power of Listening: There is nothing that will derail Effective communication quicker than one of the parties not literally listening to the other. This recently happened to a client with the financial aid office of the University of Michigan, where his child attends school. Every particular person that he have dealt with in that office since his child first attended there in 2009 had been short, curt and robotic in conveying the Federal guidelines for trainee aid. Clearly, there is a allocation they bind to and there is no going covering the box, which is a total disconnect for him as the recipient of financial aid when he attended the Western Michigan University years ago. His perception was that the financial aid office exists to help trainee find a way to fund their study when they don't have money out of pocket to cover the whole cost. The University of Michigan's Financial Aid Office employees make it clear straight through their words and non-verbal communication that their mission is to limit the amount of funds that go to each trainee to meet some private allocation goal. He tried on any occasions to explain this to the head of the group and each time she twisted it colse to and blamed him for misunderstanding the counselors, or not following their guidelines, or taking what was said out of context. Not once did she talk that she heard what my client was saying or that she would try and help him find financial resources to help him cover the ,000 yearly cost of school. His child asked, "How can I find more money to go to school?" The counselor responded, "By getting married, having a baby, joining the soldiery or your parents dying." He said, "None of those are a remote possibility, to which he responded, "Well maybe you should have chosen a school that was more affordable to you." His child worked hard to get accepted to U of M and he worked hard to save enough money for him to go there. The counselor was literally conveying the Federal guidelines of trainee aid to him, but it was the way he conveyed it that was totally inappropriate. When my client brought it to the attention of the group director, she was very defensive and blamed the whole issue on me in that he wasn't accepting that these were the guidelines. That wasn't the point, but rather there is a right way and a wrong way to say, no, which is exactly what they were telling his son in terms of getting more aid. The last transfer my client had with the group head, she said, "Please accept my apologies for any response you feel was inappropriate." My client didn't feel the responses were inappropriate, they were. He totally understands the Federal guidelines, and she repeatedly and robotically recited them to him over and over and over again, missing the point. Putting the blame back on my client and his son clearly showed she never listened what I was trying to say and my client wasn't heard. That's an unfortunate gap in the middle of a parent and a major function at a major institution.
Managing Conflict: To say my client had a friction with the U of M financial aid office is an understatement. It was a major communication breakdown, one I'm sure he'll pay the price for at a later date - literally. Any way it is a normal part of life to have friction at home, in the workplace, in any situation where two or more people are exchanging information. What is key is how we carry on friction and bring it to flourishing resolution. In the case of the financial aid office, my client has agreed to disagree, take what they will give and find someone else resource to cover the gap in tuition. The head of that office will never get what was said to her and he can live with that, it's her loss. There are many Effective ways to defuse a tense situation and one thing that has been flourishing is to decide - what can you live with and what are you not willing to budge on? Knowing friction happens and being armed with tools to carry on straight through it and decide it are keys to having the right mindset while it is happening. My client's situation was unfortunate but not personal and I certify he is not the first nor will he be the last to touch a brick wall when it comes to the U of M financial aid office. Removing the emotion and defusing the situation helped bring this to a reasonable conclusion.
How Your Attitude Affects Communication: Every attitude is a aggregate of feelings, beliefs and evaluations. Behavior refers to the reactions or actions of an object or organism and attitude predicts behavior. Persuasive communication changes attitudes, which then affects behavior, which then creates a more Effective environment. Persuasive communication involves openly trying to convince someone else to change their behavior and only works when the source is credible and trustworthy. Addressing trust and credibility first among your coworkers and other essential relationships you have lays a strong foundation. Studying to clearly state your position, followed by supporting arguments and obtaining others' deal are the keys to persuasion.
Giving and Receiving Feedback: Feedback is a type of communication that we give or get. Sometimes, feedback is called "criticism," but this seriously limits its meaning.
Feedback is a way to let people know how Effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish, or how they work on you. It provides a way for people to learn how they work on the world colse to them, and it helps us to become more effective. If we know how other people see us, we can overcome problems in how we retell and interact with them. Of course, there are two sides to it: giving feedback, and receiving it.
Getting Feedback: Some people touch feedback as pure annotation and don't want to hear it. Others see it as spiritually crushing; a confirmation of their worthlessness. Still others only want to hear praise, but nothing that might recommend imperfection. That's not the case for everyone, of course. Some people are willing to accept feedback and seek it out, even if it is sometimes disturbing, because they believe they can grow from it. It comes down to whether you believe feedback will harm you or advantage you.
This is not to say that we should all the time have to accept feedback or the manner in which it is sometimes given. We all have the right to refuse feedback, and we can expect feedback to be given in a respectful and supportive manner. But for every certain and open way of accepting feedback, there's an opposite; a negative and finished manner which pushes feedback away and keeps it at bay.
Negative/Closed Style
Defensive: defends personal actions, often objects to feedback given. Attacking: verbally attacks the feedback giver, and turns the table. Denies: refutes the accuracy or fairness of the feedback. Disrespectful: devalues the speaker, what the speaker is saying, or the speaker's right to give feedback. Closed: ignores the feedback, listening blankly without interest. Inactive listening: makes no exertion to "hear" or understand the meaning of the feedback. Rationalizing: finds explanations for the feedback that dissolve any personal responsibility. Patronizing: listens, but shows dinky interest. Superficial: listens and agrees, but gives the impression that the feedback will have dinky actual effect.
Positive/Open Style
Open: listens without frequent interruption or objections. Responsive: willing to hear what's being said without turning the table. Accepting: accepts the feedback, without denial. Respectful: recognizes the value of what is being said and the speaker's right to say it. Engaged: interacts appropriately with the speaker, asking for solution when needed. Active listening: listens determined and tries to understand the meaning of the feedback. Thoughtful: tries to understand the personal behavior that has led to the feedback. Interested: is literally curious in getting feedback. Sincere: literally wants to make personal changes if appropriate.
Giving Feedback
The other end of feedback is giving it. Some people deliver feedback with relish; after all, it's easier to give advice than take it. Some use feedback as a weapon, or offer it as tit-for-tat. For others, feedback is a great way to be critical. How you deliver feedback is as foremost as how you accept it, because it can be experienced in a very negative way. To be Effective you must be tuned in, sensitive, and honest when giving feedback. Just as there are certain and negative approaches to accepting feedback, so too are there ineffective and Effective ways to give it.
Ineffective/Negative Delivery
Attacking: hard hitting and aggressive, focusing on the weaknesses of the other person. Indirect: feedback is vague and issues hinted at rather than addressed directly. Insensitive: dinky concern for the needs of the other person. Disrespectful: feedback is demeaning, bordering on insulting. Judgmental: feedback is evaluative, judging personality rather than behavior. General: aimed at broad issues which cannot be literally defined. Poor timing: given long after the prompting event, or at the worst inherent time. Impulsive: given thoughtlessly, with dinky regard for the consequences. Selfish: feedback meets the giver's needs, rather than the needs of the other person.
Effective/Positive Delivery
Supportive: delivered in a non-threatening and encouraging manner. Direct: the focus of the feedback is clearly stated. Sensitive: delivered with sensitivity to the needs of the other person. Considerate: feedback is intended to not insult or demean. Descriptive: focuses on behavior that can be changed, rather than personality. Specific: feedback is focused on definite behaviors or events. Healthy timing: given as close to the prompting event as inherent and at an opportune time. Thoughtful: well determined rather than impulsive. Helpful: feedback is intended to be of value to the other person.
The importance of Feedback
Feedback is a must for people who want to have honest relationships. A marvelous and foremost means for communication, giving feedback connects us, and our behavior, to the world colse to us.
Communication and the Digital Age: There are now manifold means of causing communication barriers in the middle of people; texting, Facebook-ing, Twittering, instant messaging, voice mail and email to name a few. Stephen Covey's Time administration program preaches for us to be the expert of technology versus letting technology being our master. I recently attended a baseball game and when I looked colse to the stadium, I saw a sea of people finding at their cell phones. They were texting, taking pictures, uploading them to Facebook, talking - it was a new age of mass media blitz. I often get instant messages from clients and inherent clients asking me in-depth life changing questions and expecting a straightforward talk in return. It's hard to be an Effective communicator in the digital age unless we learn how to use these means in a persuasive and accepted manner. A client of mine has an worker who constantly fires off scathing emails. My client gets constant complaints about the worker who is perceived as being combative and abrasive. I advised her to sit down with the employee, show her examples of the inappropriate emails, recommend her to a 24-hour "cool down" period, then initially reviewing the emails with person they can trust before hitting the send key. A month later the client reported that 9 out of 10 emails were scrapped before sending. The worker then learned the skill of not reacting via email to other communication that was angering her. It is especially foremost in this economic atmosphere where we're doing much more with much less and tensions are high.
Ask yourself the following questions:
How would your expert and personal life change if you could successfully expert these basic skills? Can you afford not to make the venture to heighten your communication? You will be amazed at the unbelievable turn your life will take once you learn how to retell effectively and successfully. Did you know that the most foremost asset to a enterprise or to a client is a person who communicates effectively, person who has the quality to work on and persuade others? Are you communicating successfully and effectively to work on others or are you just talking?
i. 2007, Stoney deGeyter; Pole Position Marketing. Ii. 2009, Phil Rich, Ed.D., Msw, Dcsw; Self-Help Magazine.
10 Steps to effective transportation
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